Do you know that one of the reasons why many people marry the wrong partner is because they don’t know their partners well enough before getting married to them? Now, you know. You don’t have to make the same mistake that many people have made. In this article, I’ll be showing you 7 guaranteed ways to know your partner better before getting married so you can make the right decision.
Sometime last year, Mr. Steve Thompson Maduka, the Founder, CEO, and Head of Operations at Royal Hairs International Limited, announced the end of his 5 months old marriage to his wife, Sandra Iheuwa.
He revealed that he wasted 45 million Naira to marry someone he doesn’t even know, only to discover that his estranged wife “married for social media, not for the home.”
In a series of posts on his social media page, he shared that Sandra fights everyone, including his family members, and continually reminds him that she’s an American and tells him that he married her just to get a “Green card“.
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He stated that his marriage can no longer work because of Sandra’s “too much use of social media.” You can read the full story here.
As I said in the introduction, many people marry the wrong partner because they don’t know their partners well enough before getting married to them. When you don’t have sufficient knowledge about someone you’re dating, you may likely marry the wrong person.
One of the reasons why you need to know your partner before you marry the person is that the knowledge of your partner will help you to make the right decision. At the root of every sound decision is sufficient knowledge. Good and sound decisions are made based on sufficient knowledge. If you don’t know who you are dating well enough, you’re likely to make the wrong choice.
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Like Mr. Steve, many people have gotten married to people who barely know what their character, mentality, and values are like, and consequently, the marriage didn’t last. If you don’t have sufficient knowledge about the person you are going out with, you will marry the wrong person. Hence, the purpose of this article is to show you guaranteed ways to know your partner better to make the right decision.
7 Guaranteed Ways To Know Your Partner Better
1. Through Their Words
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
(Prov. 17:28 NIV)
A fool is assumed to be wise if he keeps silent but immediately he opens his mouth, his foolishness is revealed. Words reveal who we are. It reveals whether or not we’re wise, foolish, bigots, racist, close-minded, open-minded, entitled, etc.
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“Any day my wife dared to talk back at me, will equally be the day I will send her out of my house. She will go back to her father’s compound. I can not marry you with my hard-earned money and you expect me to be equal with you in my own house I used my money to build, and not your father’s money. She must kneel and beg me anytime she did something wrong to me, simple. She must equally respect me as her lord, just like God commands.”
The above statement was made by a man. It speaks volumes about the kind of mentality regarding marriage and a wife. When someone speaks, he or she reveals the level of his knowledge, his mentality, likes, dislikes, and values because it is out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
By the words of your partner, you can get to know how informed he is, how he thinks and reasons, his mentality on issues, etc. This will help you to be better informed about the person you are dealing with. So the words of your partner are one of the guaranteed ways to know your partner better.
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2. Through Their Actions
Just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
(Matthew 7:20 NLT)
Through the actions of your partner, you can know him or her better. The way a man acts is oftentimes a reflection of who he is. If he fights all the time you can be sure of what to expect in marriage, if she’s lazy, you will have an idea of what to expect.
You can identify and know your partner through his or her actions. How does your partner act? Can you identify any action he repeats all the time? How does he treat other people? Is she respectful? Does he treat you with respect? Action is another guaranteed way to know your partner better.
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3. Through The Friends They Keep
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
(1 Cor. 15:33 NIV)
There is an adage that says, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Your friends are a reflection of your personality. Oftentimes, friendships are kept based on shared interests, values, etc. You don’t keep friends with people you have nothing in common with.
The kind of friends your partner keeps is a reflection of who your partner is. If he keeps friends with smokers and alcoholics, wife beaters, cheats, thieves, etc., you can be sure there’s something they have in common. If she keeps friends with people that sell their bodies for money, there’s something they have in common.
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4. Through Their Values
I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.
(Psalm 119:30 NIV)
Our choices and decisions in life are often based on our values, the things we hold dear to our hearts, and the things that mean a lot to us. David chose the way of faithfulness because he values the Word of God.
Knowing the things your partner values is another guaranteed way to know your partner. What does your partner value? Does he value the truth? Does she value hard work? Does he value integrity, faithfulness, honesty, peace, and family? What your partner values is an insight into who he or she is.
Read Also: How To Find The Right Person To Marry
5. Through Their Relationship With Others
Through your partner’s relationship with other people, you can also get to know him or her better. Interpersonal relationships are important.
If your partner cannot relate well with other people, if your partner is not on good terms with other people, if your partner fights and quarrels with everyone around him or her etc., it speaks volumes about the kind of person your partner is.
If your partner cannot relate well with other people around him or her, what’s the guarantee that the person will relate well with you? Do not take this lightly, the way your partner treats and relates with other people will, to an extent, determine how he or she relates with you.
Read Also: 10 Reasons To Marry The Right Person
6. Through Communicating Often
Communication goes a long way in helping you to get to know your partner better, when you engage in conversation with them, you start to figure out revelations about your partner. Some people say communication is the lifeline and blood of every relationship.
Communicating with your partner is one of the surest guaranteed ways to know your partner better. When you communicate more often, you stand a chance of getting details of things you never knew about your partner.
Communication is key to a long-lasting relationship. Lack of communication kills relationships faster than anything. Communicate with your partner by asking direct questions. This is an important part of communication.
Read Also: Who Is The Right Kind Of Person To Marry?
Most people don’t ask their partners questions, they just spend their time doing unproductive things. Find time to sit down and ask your partner questions, especially on areas you ain’t clear about, this will help you get to know your partner better.
Ask questions about their lifestyle, hobbies, friends, values, views on different issues of life, and interests. This will help you to know who you are dating.
7. Through Spending Time With Your Partner
Most people are not truthful with everything about their lives. They tend to hide some things about them and try their best not to reveal this aspect of their lives.
Spending time with your partner is another guaranteed way to find out who your partner is because some things about them won’t be revealed in conversation.
Make out time to hang out with and visit your partner to know them well. Words are easy to say, but actions show and speak out everything. When you are with your partner you can easily see and know how they behave and react to things, you can figure out everything yourself even without being told.
Read Also: How To Determine Sexual Compatibility Without Having Sex
Conclusion
The main purpose of dating is to know your partner better to make decisions, it’s to know if they’re sustainable to be a life partner. This is the primary purpose of dating.
Do not waste your dating period on frivolities if you don’t want to end up with the wrong person. Maximize your dating period. Put these guaranteed ways to know your partner better into work.
Do you have a question to ask? Do you want to share your thoughts on this topic, please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
© Samuel Okolie
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