How To Find The Right Person To Marry

Are you afraid of getting married because you don’t want to marry the wrong person? Do you desire a successful, peaceful, and fulfilling marriage? Do you desire to marry the right person? Then, this article is all you need. It will help you to find the right person to marry.

The importance of getting married to the right person cannot be overemphasised because a lot of things are at stake in this single decision. Among other things, the person you get married to is going to be either the mother or the father of your children.

Recently, a video went viral online. A mother was smoking in the presence of her child. As if that was not enough, she was popping the smoke into her child’s mouth. I have read stories of where fathers raped their daughters. The person you get married to will either abuse your children or raise them well. That is why it is important to find the right person to marry.

Biblical Example Of Someone Who Married The Right Person

When Abraham was very old, he called his senior servant Eleazar and made him swear an oath not to find a life partner for his son Isaac among the Canaanites or take his son Isaac back to where he was coming from but to find a wife for him among his people.

Then, the senior servant Eleazar set out on his journey. When he got to Abraham’s place, “Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this, I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” (Gen. 24:12‭-‬14 NIV)

Before he had finished praying, God answered his prayer. Rebekah came around. She was very beautiful and also a virgin. He met with her family, did an introduction, paid her pride price, and set out to go back to his master, Abraham with the wife he had gotten for his son, Isaac.

When they got to Cana land, Isaac took Rebekah into his mother’s tent and she became his wife. The Bible recorded that Isaac was comforted or consoled after his mother’s death. It has been 3 good years since Sarah died yet Isaac was still grieving but when Rebekah came into his life, he was comforted immediately.

When you find the right person to marry or when you marry the right person, you will be comfortable. That is one of the important marks of the right person. When you are wearing the right size of pairs of shoes or clothes, you will be comfortable. You will not feel any pain or discomfort. The opposite is the case when you are not wearing the right sizes.

I shared this story with you to encourage and to help you understand that it is possible to marry right. Let’s look at how to find the right person to marry. Pay close attention.

1. Pray About It First

As we saw in the story, the first thing Abraham’s senior servant did when he was asked to find a wife for Isaac was to pray about it first. “Then, he prayed…” He prayed for leading, he prayed that God should choose a good woman for Isaac and God answered him. Rebekah brought comfort to Isaac’s life, that’s what the right person does. (see Genesis 24:12-15).

Normally, you shouldn’t do anything without prayer. But when it comes to choosing a life partner, you need to pray more because anyone you marry, you’re handing your life over to that person. That is the person you’re going to be vulnerable to all the days of your life. That’s the person you will sleep with, eat with, and virtually do everything with.

The first thing you need to do to find the right person to marry is to pray. In Proverbs 3:6-7, the Scripture says, “Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way”. (GNTD) In Matthew 7:7-8, the Scripture also says, “Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” (GNTD)

So, prayer is the first thing you need to do when you want to find the right person to marry. I’m sorry if you don’t buy the idea of praying for a life partner. I wish you good luck. But if you subscribe to the idea, then pray and ask God if the person you’re with right now or about to enter into a relationship with is the right person for you. Pray and ask Him to direct you to someone that’s right for you!

2. Be The Right Person First

In Luke 6:41-42 Jesus asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

If you want to find the right person to marry, then, you must also be the right person. Many people are concerned about marrying the right person meanwhile they are not even close to being the right person. One of the reasons why you are finding it difficult to find the right person to marry is that you are hardly the right person yourself. More often than not, you will always attract your kind. Like attracts like.

Do you want a God-fearing man, are you God-fearing yourself? You want someone with a good character, do you have a good character? Do you want a faithful, kind, selfless, and understanding partner, are you one yourself? Don’t be like the Pharisees that have planks in their eyes but go about looking for those with sawdust in their eyes.

If you are serious about finding the right person to marry, you must be the right person too. You must work on yourself, and your character. The qualities you desire in a partner, you should also cultivate them. Then, you will see clearly when the right person passes by.

3. Date Effectively

After God has led you to someone, then you need to date the person. Dating is a way of assessing, examining, and determining the suitability of a person as a life partner. It is a way of finding out if someone is right to be a wife or husband. With God’s guidance, dating will help you to find the right person to marry.

Some people don’t understand the essence of dating hence they abuse it. Dating is not about going from one restaurant to another eating fried rice and chicken, gulping down cups of ice cream, visiting the cinema and eating popcorn, visiting the beach, attending functions together, hanging out together, etc. These things are not dating, they are social activities involved in dating.

Dating provides you with an opportunity to get to know someone, his beliefs, the things he believes in, his values, hobbies, interests, aspirations, health, finance, and virtually everything about him and vice versa. It gives you an opportunity to learn about someone, especially a member of the opposite sex. It allows you to ask the person questions and get answers before making commitments.

4. Observe The Person

Someone said, do not conclude on a person because of how they treat you, observe how they treat other people for that’s who they are. Be observant. To observe means to carefully note, record, or pay attention to something. Many scientific theories and inventions we have today, came through observation. That is to say that we can learn things from observation.

So, take time to observe the person. How does he or she react to issues and people? What are the things he loves to do or talks about often? Is she violent? Does he gamble, drink, womanise or smoke? Is she promiscuous? What is her relationship with people like? Is he responsible? Is he accountable? Is she respectful? Observe these things. Pay attention to details. You can learn so much from observing a person.

5. Investigate The Person

Growing up in the village, there is a practice I used to notice. When a man wants to marry a woman, he will send some emissaries to the woman’s village to ask questions about the woman, her family, and even the village from people close by. The woman will also do the same thing. More often than not, the feedback they get will determine whether or not they will proceed with the marriage.

This practice is still effective. So, ask for honest feedback from people close to the person you are considering as a life partner. Ask his friends, colleagues at work, siblings, relatives, etc. You need to be intentional when you want to find the right person to marry.

Ask questions. Has she been married before? He has been married before? Does she have a child? What is her character like? People from his or her family, what are they known for? Is there any pattern in her family? Women from her family, do they stay married or run after another man?

A little caution is needed here, though. It is not everything they say that is likely to be the truth, however when everyone is practically saying the same thing, you need to pause and listen, and investigate it to be sure.

Feedback is powerful, don’t joke with this. Don’t be a blind lover. Ask questions from the person’s friends, neighbours, colleagues, etc.

How To Find The Right Person To Marry